Friday, February 04, 2005

Faux Memo

[satire -- case you're wonderin']

FROM THE DEPARTMENT OF CORPORATE TRANSPARENCY
The WELLCO Groupe, Coventry, U.K.

Trusted Employee:

Without violating any privacy laws or “civil rights,” it has come to our attention that you recently used the WELLCO network to access the U.S.-based Blogger.com, and that you have begun designing a “blog” under the Internet address of http://ihatemeboss.blogspot.com. Let us be clear right from the outset: we couldn’t be more excited about this endeavor! WELLCO applauds your exercise in the “right to free speech,” which someday may be protected under the constitution of the European Union, which WELLCO may or may not be subject to in the very distant future. And we admire the “template” you have selected, given the large assortment of free-but-extraordinary artwork on Blogger.com. And we have no problem at all that you are using the corporate network for your private, literary projects. None at all! We are profoundly impressed by this "blog" idea of yours -- how did you think of it? Well, here are five easy tips for ensuring your blog is as successful as your idea is original.

CONTENT IS KING. Our resident media-relations specialist, Colin Brimley (eMBA, University of Warwick), has made a thorough study of the Google.com ranking rules and has determined that ... content is king! That is, if you desire to raise the ranking of your “URL” on Google, make sure you frequently use the same terms in your daily “postings.” Hint: avoid using tired cliches like “I hate me boss,” or “WELLCO is @#!&,” for few of your readers will ever search under those phrases. Instead, use cheerful, highly “optimised” phrases such as “Coventry-based company posts record earnings,” “WELLCO loves bloggers,” or “Ronald McDonald House rocks!”

GOOD LINKS. If content is king, “links are the Queen,” quips the erudite, fairly compensated Brimley, who, incidentally, has started his own personal blog at http://wellcoisaverygenerousemployer.blogspot.com. Brimley is right! Without a carefully selected list of popular sites on your “blogroll,” you might as well “throw in the towel” as our American friends at Blogger.com might say. But avoid the tired, ordinary sites favored by nuisance-making bloggers. Give your blog some zing by linking to wildly popular destinations such as http://www.eurodisney.com, http://www.ronaldmcdonaldhouse.uk, and http://www.wellcoworld.com.

NO-DRESS CODE. You've heard the rumor that WELLCO terminated an employee for posting inappropriate photos of herself in half-dress, half-uniform? Not true! WELLCO encourages all its employees to “express themselves,” as our esteemed, well-attired American friends are prone to say. Feel free to link to http://www.wellcostore.com, where you and your readers can purchase discounted t-shirts, baseball caps, and American-style beer bottle holders with beautifully rendered illustrations of the Coventry Ladies Madrigal Society tastefully modelling the tri-colored WELLCO logo.

FINANCIAL TRANSPARENCY -- A MUST! You've heard the rumor that WELLCO terminated an employee for posting sensitive data on executive compensation? Not true! But why bore your readers with numbers they can't understand when you can “point” to the lively, colorful "Phun Numbs!" page at http://www.wellcophunnumbs.com, listing our charitable contributions to organisations such as the WELLCO PHUN FUND, the WELLCO TRUST PHUN, and the Ronald McDonald House? Be an “upper not a downer,” as our esteemed, admired, drug-addled American friends are wont to say.

KIDDIE BLOGS ARE ALSO PHUN! Without overtly violating any privacy laws or “civil rights,” we have also learned that your six-year old daughter, Helen, has begun designing a blog under the Internet address of http://daddysbossisafatstupidhead.blogspot.com. Go to http://www.wellcokids.com: we’ve posted some very cool, highly optimised links that Helen can “tag,” including a brilliant site featuring free and righteous ringtones from http://www.eurodisney.com, http://www.westlife.com, and http://www.ronaldmcdonaldhouserocks.uk. Don't be a sad dad -- let Helen be “rad,” as our esteemed, retired, obscenely wealthy American friends can't help but say.

Happy bloggin!

17 Comments:

Blogger Admin said...

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Here is another good site I said I would pass along.
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Thanks

12:39 AM  
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Maybe you should add it yahoo people search uk

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1:16 AM  
Blogger Admin said...

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Bye
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2:40 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Here is an article that may be a great resource to you and your readers. Hope you like it.


children adhd
children adhd

Children with ADHD

There is a perplexing state of affairs in today's society, there lies a strong correlation between the affluence of a society and the amount of disease that is present. There is also another correlation that troubles many a people and that is with affluence comes disease at an Earlier age.

Working with children and the parents of these children I often get asked the question, 'Why are Children with ADHD on the increase?'

The answer as you shall find is one that is both interesting and challenging.

Children of today are really no more different from the children of yesterday in terms of genetic makeup. However, if you examine the issue more closely you will tend to find that many children today have been given labels. For example, 'Oh, those are children with ADHD' or 'Those are the children who can't sit still.' Or 'That is the kid that always gets into trouble.'

These labels are not only destructive but also become a self fulfilling prophecy as it is repeated adnauseum.

So as a 21st century parent or a parent with a child with ADHD or a parent with children with ADHD, what knowledge framework do you need to equip yourself with to ensure your children live out their true potential?

Here is a quick reference list for thinking about ADHD
� ADHD is a source of great frustration because it is misunderstood
� ADHD medications are a great short term time buying device and should be avoided long term
� The above point goes for any sort of drug consumption. Think about it for a minute. Unless you have a biochemical deficiency in your body like Type 1 diabetes where your body fails to produce enough insulin or any at all, why would you take an external drug? A body that is in balance is totally healthy. It is only when the body is out of balance that dis-ease symptoms start to creep up.
� ADHD is a biochemical imbalance of the mind and body.
� The Head of Psychiatry in Harvard states that drugs for ADHD simply mask the effects of ADHD. It does not cure ADHD. This is an important point because a cure implies never to have to take the medication. This means that once you start on medication you will have to be on it for the rest of your life i.e. you have medically acquired a dependency for a biochemical imbalance. That is like stuffing all your rubbish (problematic behaviors) into a closet (medication) where no one can see it. But if you continue to stuff more rubbish into that closet, one day you will not have enough space and need to do one of two things. You either empty the rubbish (the natural conclusion) or you get a bigger closet (i.e. change to stronger medication to control the symptoms). The choice is obvious but sometimes when you don't have the necessary tools to deal with ADHD you tend to think the bigger closet is the only option.
� ADHD children are super sensitive to the emotions around them. Often they pick up emotional cues from their parents without realizing. Many parents come home frustrated or annoyed from work, the child with ADHD picks this up and starts to 'cause trouble' by becoming restless. Parents frustration increase because they just want some peace and quiet. They get angry which in turn is picked up by the child who then intensifies their activity. Things get way out of hand and some sort of punishment is handed down to the child who has no idea what just happened. The cycle repeats itself every so often.
� Our brains are wired emotionally. Positive praise is interpreted as an analytical/thinking exercise. Negative criticism including scolding, name calling, physical punishment all go directly to the emotional brain of children with ADHD. This means in order to ensure you get your message across in the most optimal way, you need to learn how to communicate with your ADHD children the way they like to be communicated with.
� Every negative comment requires 16 positive comments to neutralize the emotion. Save yourself the frustration and agitation by practicing positive communication.

The list is by no means complete. In dealing with children with ADHD there are a certain set of behavioural principles to follow. I will detail these steps in the coming weeks. I'll also build on the list as you continue to learn about what appears to be a mystical disorder known as 'Children with ADHD'

6:50 AM  
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Here is some additional
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